i am still alive.

i am alive. my heart beats, each pump stretching the stitches, but i am healing. my lungs fill with oxygen and hope and i pray i can do this for another day, pray that one day i will welcome the sensation of opening my eyes and taking my first breath of the day, because i am healing.
because i am alive.

i am not dead. my blood sticks to the confines of my veins and my guts don't spill out onto the floor when i unwrap my arms from myself. my knuckles crack when i ball my hands into fists and my muscles flex when i move, because i am strong.
because i am not dead.

i am still here. my name is still tagged on the wall behind the old school, even though they tore it down, it still exists somewhere, though maybe only in pieces, my name is still written on the world. my foot prints are still on the moon, because i exist.
because i am still here.

i can't be who i was, but i can be who i want to be. i steal snatches of my friends' gestures and behaviors and sew them into my skin. i am a collage of people who may or may not exist anymore, and maybe they never existed at all, but i am still who i want to be.

i do not know who i am, but i am still alive.